I’m not sure how anyone is meant to function working those

August 27, 2014 Uncategorized

I went from NHS doctor to mental health patient overnight

canada goose (Photo: Frances Coleman Williams)I struggled with my mental health as a teenager and through university but I kept thinking to myself cheap Canada Goose that things would be better if I could just get to the next phase in my life. canada goose

My confidence and self esteem had always been really low but I thought once I passed my degree it would prove to me that I was good enough.

canada goose store I was really excited the first time I walked on to a ward as a qualified doctor but my nerves were sky high, not just because Canada Goose online it was the first day of a new job but cheap canada goose uk my credentials meant I suddenly had ‘trust me’ status it’s quite a responsibility. canada goose store

canada goose coats I could not shake the nagging canada goose coats doubt that I just wasn’t good enough. I felt sick when my Canada Goose Parka on call or crash bleep went off and I would hide in the toilets crying, absolutely terrified I would do something wrong that would result in someone dying. That was my ultimate fear and it played on a constant loop in my brain. canada goose coats

canadian goose jacket The learning never stops as a doctor illnesses and treatments are constantly evolving as we discover more about the human body. I find this fascinating but it also means the exams never stop. canadian goose jacket

Canada Goose online We weren’t meant to Canada Goose Jackets work more than 50 hours per week but if we did, we just had to say we hadn’t. Overtime was essential to fit everything in but we were not to declare it. A week of nights equaled 91 hours. I’m not sure how anyone is meant to function working those hours. Canada Goose online

I was completely exhausted, struggling to eat enough, sleeping very badly, my mental state was buy canada goose jacket cheap questionable and I had a negative thought stream playing on repeat in my brain, but I was certain canada goose my work was keeping me going. As long canada goose factory sale as I could just keep working, I would keep fighting. For over uk canada goose outlet six months, I continued to put on a work mask and make everyone believe I was coping just fine. canadian goose jacket It didn’t occur to me to take sick leave.

Canada Goose Parka Unfortunately I could not keep up this facade canada goose coats on sale forever. My suicidal thoughts got worse so my psychiatrist, who I saw Canada Goose Online once a Canada Goose Outlet month, thought an admission to a psychiatric ward would be the best thing for me. I wasn’t eating or sleeping so canada goose uk outlet they thought an Canada Goose sale admission would help stabilise my mood and give me the support I needed. Canada Goose Parka

canada goose clearance One Monday afternoon in February I went from working as a doctor, looking after sick people, to being a patient myself and the one that needed care. canada goose clearance

canada goose deals I didn’t think I would ever actually be ‘one of them’. I had swapped sides and I didn’t know how to play this role. canada goose deals

Canada Goose Outlet Walking on to the psychiatric ward and waiting to be admitted was one of the strangest experiences of my life. canada goose store I didn’t think I would ever actually be ‘one of them’. Canada Goose Outlet

Canada Goose Jackets I had swapped sides and I didn’t know how to play this role. I knew how to be a doctor, I knew how to present myself, I knew what people expected from me but as a patient, I was terrified. Canada Goose Jackets

canada goose clearance sale I knew logically that I was ill but I kept asking myself, was I really sick enough to be here? canada goose clearance sale

Instead of putting on the mask I was used to, I was being asked to be myself, be honest about how I was feeling and to let people help me. This was an canada goose uk shop alien experience.

buy canada goose jacket Ultimately my story has a positive outcome: I no longer have symptoms of mental illness although I will be taking anti depressants for the rest of my canada goose clearance life. I have not returned to being a doctor, instead I have found ways to give back to the uk canada goose mental health community. I now work as a mental health recovery worker with a charity as well as writing and speaking to raise awareness. buy canada goose jacket

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Canada Goose sale I think something fundamental I did wrong for a long time was assume that the next life stage would make everything all better if you’re mentally unwell, you need medication and/or therapy. It is unhelpful to think ‘if I canada goose uk black friday just get married/divorced/have children/move house/move job, everything will get better’. Canada Goose sale

buy canada goose jacket cheap If you’re a student or doctor struggling canada goose clearance sale with your mental health, please get canada goose outlet help sooner rather than later. buy canada goose jacket cheap

canada goose black friday sale I Canada Goose Coats On Sale found that medicine was not the career for me but if it is https://www.getcanadagooseoutlet.com for you, it’s important to find ways of managing the stress and ensure you get the right support canada goose black friday sale.

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